Jaizel Nevlida
In another world,
It would have been different.
In another world,
We would have been meant for each other,
At least for the time being.
In another world,
We could have had a shot
To see what more
We could really be.
A year passes
And I see you
Your friends, and the girl you left me for
All on the street.
I wave at you all,
Mainly out of respect,
Acknowledging ghosts of my past,
But you stop me for a sec.
We chat and talk
And slightly reminisce
About a time back then
Much simpler than this.
Your friends
Hug me tight
Saying
We missed you old friend,
And I side glance at you
Our eyes matched with the same
Sorrow and
Half regrets.
You pull me to the side
And we sit down on the grass
5 feet apart
Because we know
Much better than that.
We sit there in silence
Just looking at the city
Then you go and say my name
And my heart feels all the pain.
Memories flash before me
So fast and so quick
My emotions are hard to hold
But these memories are bliss.
The excitement of our first kiss.
The contentment in your arms.
The old park and bar dates
The walks home in the dark.
The confusion of our conversations
And the summer spent apart.
The happiness in the club with you
And our final, unresolved depart.
I look over at you
Those eyes I used to cherish
And I feel sad
Lonely
Because time was truly wasted.
You hold out your arm
So your hand is just in reach of mine,
I look down at it and look back up
Away
Pretending not to care this time.
But you know it’s a lie
Because the next words you say,
Makes my heart go faster
And my eyes start to water.
“We will always have each other
We will always be friends
We will always have each other’s back
From here until the end.
And I know I did you wrong,
I know I hurt you back then,
Just know that I never meant to
And that you made me a better man,
The man that can cherish my love
And learn from my mistakes.
I always had good times with you
And felt like the best me,
When I had you at my waist.”
I look towards the sky
The clouds becoming a thin blur
And I take your hand
Squeeze it
In gratitude
In love, in care
I’m afraid to look over at you
Since you always know exactly what to say.
And I feel so happy but confused
At our meeting and resolution today.
But I do turn my head
And I’m met with your kind eyes.
And right then and there
I knew you meant every word
Said this calm and lovely night.
But my vision gets blurry,
And everything goes blank.
And I blink, poof.
Your gone,
Without another moment to think.
I see that
those hazel eyes are replaced,
With my dark and empty bedroom.
My table lamp,
Turned off,
The shadows on the ceiling
Haunting my room.
So I lie in my bed for a minute
Staring at the half full bottle of wine
And wonder how that could have felt so real
And yet so fake
At the same time.
And I realize that
I still hold onto you
After all this time.
And I can’t seem to get over that
Despite the joy
Yet pain
You made me feel inside.
Then I cry
And cry and cry,
Because I’m not heartbroken
Or sad you found the girl for you
Not really.
But because I know deep down
You’re doing very well,
That you’re so happy.
And I’m working on letting
What we had go.
To find the place,
Of friendship and closure
That my dreams depicted moments ago.
But its hard,
So hard,
When I tell myself these certain things,
Like the fact that I’m missing you
But knowing in this life
In this world,
You’re not missing me.
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